"I'm shiny and I know it."

Hey.

To begin, I want to apologize for not writing here in a while -- I understand that it's not like I have a contract that says I have to write every X number of days, but still -- I missed this.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been in the throes of being home again -- dealing with a divided family, friends who would rather be with their college friends, lots of time in close proximity with folks that I haven't seen in months, changes in people's lives, and not feeling quite like I belong in this small town but feeling guilty for wanting to be elsewhere. It's complicated.

However, today, I reconnected with a friend who is so very dear to me, and she really brightened my week. The rest of this week is looking good, too. I've been going to rehearsals for my sister's play (Y'all can call me Raphael, mmkay? ARCHANGEL. That's right.) and tomorrow I get to attend the high school graduation, have tea with that dear friend of mine, and on Friday, even more things are planned.

And on Saturday, I'll be gliding over the Atlantic, going to see my girl once more.

--

I'm so lucky to live this life, even with all its craziness. Sometimes, for a split second, I understand that everyone that I know has a life that is just as complicated and confusing and beautiful and difficult and fascinating as mine -- I comprehend it for one moment -- and it blows my mind.

It's a damn cool world we live in.

Outcry

I was at the supermarket this evening with my mother, and upon walking into the check-out line, I was bombarded with unflattering pictures of actresses and actors that probably have enough on their minds without nasty paparazzi photos -- AND I was also hit from all sides by "Ways to lose weight!" "Melt that fat!" "Get your bikini body!" "Find out about the calories you could be cutting!" "Trim that belly!"

-----it made me furious. To think -- to honestly think about what that kind of advertising, those kinds of put-downs are doing to so many young girls in our country, in our world -- and probably boys, too (though for them, the pressure is to have a big penis and to have muscles, not just to be as thin as a twig). -- it makes me so mad. It's also frustrating because it's not really something that I can change about our culture as a whole. Sure, I can try to undo all the brainwashing in my mind that has accumulated over the years that tells me that thin is always better than fat, that being normal sized is basically being fat, that--that somehow this punishing society of ours is right.

I do need to try and fight that, but I wish I could fight it on a larger scale.

A darn good evening.

: )

So, tonight -- after the weird house-shuffle that must take place these days due to the separation of my folks, I played a multi-lingual game of cribbage with my mother. We tried it in English, French, and German, and had a grand old time. It put me into an einfach fantastic mood, and inspired me to create a makeshift table for my laptop in my room (fashioned out of an old locker-shelf ((one of the foldy, metal ones)) and an old pillowcase) and got me thinking about more things I can do over the next few days.

Also, for those of you interested in the countdown, June 2 is almost ending. I get to see my girl again on the 12th.

It's just wondrous. : )