Oh, Puh-LEASE!

I realized that there were a couple of things that I've wanted to say to some people -- the types of things I'd want to become a 'fan' of on facebook, if facebook still had people become 'fans' of things, and if these awesome things were up there as optional things to 'Fan' (verb). (-- I'm feeling a little unforgiving tonight, which is fun. For those of you who know me, you know I'd probably never have the nerve to say these things to people in person, but that's the nice thing about this place -- today it's a free for all vent-o-rama!)

These select things include:

-Oh, come ON! Back then, you thought Backstreet Boys were JUST AS COOL as the rest of us did.

-Yeah, right. Don't give me that, "oh, of course!" (in a nasaly, teacher's pet voice) -- you were just as confused at what the professor just said as the rest of us. We all know it. It's no use pretending.

-You know what?? I went to public school and I came out okay! BETTER, in fact, since I know there's a real world out there! Take that, graduating-class-of-twelve.

-Yes, I am wearing tennis shoes with my skirt. No, it's not the most stylish thing, but I don't have the money to flaunt my style. Why don't you get back to me when you've found my style? Until then, back off. My personality wouldn't fit into that handbag, unlike yours.

-I wore makeup yesterday. Today, with the wonderful invention of a sports bra and a t-shirt, things look different! Now BACK OFF. I don't have to be butch or femme just to make you happy. Who told you I cared what you think?

-BACK OFF MY MUSIC. That's all.

-My room, my rules. In my space, black tea is superior. Don't try to tell me otherwise.

-PROFESSOR! If I your entire class has to come to your office hours to complete the homework, do you think maybe something's wrong? HMM??

-Oh, you know you watched Disney, too, when you were young. Gimme a break.

-SHAVING ONES LEGS DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON ANTI-FEMINIST.

-Believing in some of the principles of feminism and agreeing on the foundations of the philosophy does not make me one of the crazy, angry feminists that one is likely to see around here. Just wanted to clear that up.

-CHRIST HAD A WELL-PUBLICIZED BIRTH. HE ALSO HAD A WELL-ATTENDED DEATH. Can anyone really argue with that? No - didn't think so. So does it HAVE to be such a big deal if we use that marker to measure time? If you want, we can call this the year 4.55 billion, but honestly, I think 2010 A.D. is easier.

-Please don't listen to the professor only to critique him/her. Honestly, you are wrong about half the time, and it's extremely pretentious and rude to listen only to criticize.

-I may be treading on eggshells here, but I gotta ask: So, there's a solidarity lounge, BWC, and Queer Melanin. Isn't it true that if I made a 'White People's Gay Club', you'd be a little less than pleased? Hm. Let's think about this, people.

-People, we're living in a dorm. Common spaces are COMMON. Don't leave your grossness in the shower!

-Being gay doesn't mean that you hate the gender that you aren't sexually attracted to. It also doesn't mean that you have to form an exclusive club that promotes stereotypes. It also doesn't mean that every dinner conversation has to revolve around vaginas, penises, or whatever/whoever you did last night. It doesn't mean you have to NOT shave, NOT respect people who are straight, and NOT watch any tv shows that don't have to do with anything gay. It doesn't mean you can only wear skirts, or only wear white, v-neck tees with your oh-so-cool jeans. PLEASE, über-dykes. You're giving the rest of us a bad name. Put away your Teagan & Sara CDs and get over yourselves.


*bows* Thank you very much.